Friendships

Some of the most important relationships we have are with our friends.  As kids we make friends easily; however, as we grow older our life changes and we do as well.  Making friends still may be easy; however, keeping and maintaining friendships can be difficult.  So remember the golden rule when being a friend. And know it is okay to let go of friendships that no longer are beneficial to you!

Raising Jack

My Jack - My Instinct - Our Journey.  Jack was born on time and healthy.  As our first we "knew" it would be hard raising a child but truly we had no idea!  The first three months were tough, Jack cried when the sun hit his eyes, a bottle was introduced, a hat was placed on his head, he was held or he was not held.  Nothing made sense.  The crying intensified. From early evening until late at night, jack cried.  I cried.  My wonderful husband, held, shushed, swung, walked Jack all the while reassuring his desperate wife that we would get through that stage.  And we did!  Finally, our doctor confirmed what we already knew, Jack had colic.  But, since those first days, raising Jack has been a journey.

In the end what worked for our infant was discovered through trial and error.  A hairdryer rigged up near Jack's crib or any type of white noise (radio static in the car) soothed Jack's crying, finding his thumb, daddy, comfy clothes, lots of sleep and consistency were our main saviors.  My savior was talking.

Throughout our journey we have felt Jack had differences that were hard to explain.  He never liked toys, he would have meltdowns getting into the car seat, being offered a glass of water, learning ABC's, brushing his teeth, combing his hair, putting ketchup on the "wrong" part of his plate!  Being my first I felt confused.  Was I not disciplining enough, too much?  Was I too uptight?  Too consistent?  My ego was obviously too big!

Outside family (mainly my MIL) would say Yes to all the above.  She "hinted" I should have put him on the bottle with soy formula, put him in daycare and get back to work!  Today's influences on parenting are confusing and defeating to say the least.  But, my husband and I did one thing right!  We communicated.  We supported one another and became closer as a family unit!  The harder things became the closer we became!  In my eyes that is what marriage is about!

Dealing with arguing and fighting.

This is one of the hardest issues to deal with - Fighting (sigh).  As a mother my love is for all of you and when you argue with each other I find my own emotions in havoc.  Being fair and helping you work through your own anger or emotions can be confusing.  I often fall back on house rules, try to acknowledge your anger, practice speaking to one another and then separate if all else fails!

But the turmoil it can cause for me is one that I am trying to understand and work through!  All kids fight, right?  It is a normal part of development and a part of parenting.  So, why do I want to run or scream myself when the boys are fighting!!  Keeping my emotions in check is a constant battle.

This article from Parenting is how I want to handle Sibling fighting and in an ideal world I would do this consistently, for now I will continue trying to hone in on my skill!

Be impeccable with your words....

Our world is misguided by social media, constant criticisms of parenting styles, judgements of each others financial decisions and a general sense of competition. Our capitalistic ideals have driven individualistic greed for more, for bigger and for better.  How does it stop?  When does it stop? Only when we stop feeding the beast.

Don Miguel Ruiz author of the Four Agreements captures the spirit for living a life of fulfillment.  A life based on happiness internally not externally.  One of the agreements is to be impeccable with your words.  Easy, right?  Not at all.  However, the toxins that build in us from not following this agreement hurt family, friends and ourselves.

Rewrite your beliefs on success.  Tomorrow go one day with only positive words or words of necessity.  Cease to complain, argue and degrade just for one day

Moving on...

It's been three years plus??  The boys are growing and life is forever moving forward.  Jack is 8 and in 2nd grade, Griffin is 5 (almost 6) and in Kindergarten and Cooper is 4 and in preschool!  Our home is chaotic and although there are days I think I may pull either my hair out or theirs, I wouldn't change a thing.

We are settled into Fort Collins and happy to be where we want to be (at least for the moment)..  My itchy feet are a horrible thing to tame but I am trying!  At least for a bit!